So my new part time job smack bang in the centre of Manchester consists of me serving alcohol to customers, as well as getting annoyed every now and then at particular mannerisms. If you are reading through these and you think one relates to yourself, please stop. It’s not cool, and it doesn’t make you very popular either.
1. When you can see that I am busy serving someone, please don’t lean over the bar and say “excuse me, when you’ve got a minute can I have…” It’s just ignorance at its best and if anything it will prevent me from wanting to serve you.
2. Please don’t refer to any drink as it being “cheeky” a ‘cheeky’ vodka does not exist. End of.
3. Always say please and thank you. Bad manners is so unattractive and it doesn’t take two seconds to say thanks after I’ve served you.
4. Don’t tell me I’m doing your cocktail wrong because you’ve taken a class at Tiger Tiger and now you think you know every cocktail on the planet and how it should be presented. Different places have different ingredients, I’m doing it the way I have been trained by the company.
5. BOYS! Just because I’ve served you does not mean I want a sampling of your penis, or your number for that matter.
6. Never ever, and I mean never click your fingers or wave at bar staff. I cannot start to stress enough how disgustingly bad mannered that is. Plus you are more likely to get served last rather than first for just being a dick. Well done.
7. We never give anything away for free. So if the promo staff have apparently told you you can get a free drink cos its your birthday then unless he’s paying for it himself, you in fact are not.
8. Just because you are drunk does not excuse you for being a complete twat. I’m only doing my job.
9. Scrunched up notes. Can you please not? We are busy and I cannot be bothered to waste extra seconds of my time to unravel your rotten £10 note.
10. Don’t order a drink and then walk away. We have personal wastage and twats like you do not help our wastage.
11. Be more specific when you ask for a drink. Don’t start be saying “I’ll have a beer” because that’s really helpful…
12. Dont winge at me when I tell you the total. Or say “how much!?” Once again Im just doing my job, I didn’t create the prices.
13. When you can evidently see me cleaning up (obviously off service) yet my other co-workers availbkentomserve. Do not make a B line to me. I am closing my station down.
14. If the music is particularly loud please speak up. I can’t hear you if you whisper or what looks like miming your order to me.
15. If you have been standing at the bar for 5+ minutes please have your order ready when I get to you.