So this post is deeply personal and one I have been wanting to do for a number of months now, but, I’ve just recently plucked up the courage to actually get round to doing it so well done to Billy big bollocks over here!
It really gets to me when I see Tweets and Facebook statues of girls (especially ones I know) who claim they can’t leave the house without their make up on, then I see them out with literally NO makeup on, maybe a coating of mascara, but nothing more. And the most annoying thing – they look amazing! Literally flawless, argh!!
Attention seeker automatically dings in my head when I read a post stating my title, but I actually refuse to leave the house without make up on. And in the very very rare occasion I do leave the house face naked I feel very very uncomfortable and very itchy and irritated within myself.
This is mainly because for the best part of 2 years I have been suffering from a skin condition called rosacea, you can read about the condition here. Which I understand is incurable, but something that is completely knocked my self esteem and confidence for six. I find myself crying on a regular basis when I do see myself without any makeup on because of the harshness of the disorder, and how noticeable it is, not only to me – but to others too.
I can’t remember the exact day or month the condition started, but I know that extreme stress did nothing but make it more fierce and vicious looking. Thanks to my cheat of an ex I’m blaming this on you!
However, I do remember popping to the local shops one afternoon, in a hurry, without any makeup on and there was a child in the shop at the same time as me, with their mum. The little girl was about 3 or 4, and she looked up at me and said “What’s wrong with that girl’s face?” And I just remember hearing it and feeling sick to my stomach. I put down the item in my hand at the time, I think it was a box of teabags, left the shop and I brisk walked the two minute walk home with a solid lump in my throat, holding back the tears.
And since then I haven’t left the house without a solid layer of makeup on my face, as if I’m almost ashamed of my condition. My condition that I have absolutely no control over.
Okay, so from those two images you’re probably thinking my face doesn’t actually look that bad. But to me, that was the end of the world. I had always had such naturally glowy, smooth, shimmering skin and it was something I prided myself upon. So to suddenly see such a difference in my complexion, to me, it was an instant confidence knocker. And, my skin did get a lot worse as time gone by. A mixture of not knowing how to control it, an excess of alcohol and high caffeine drinks irritated my skin from the get go.
I have now accepted that I suffer from the condition and there are certain ways I can live my life to make sure it does not flare up any worse, or irritate my skin any more than possible and that’s something I have adapted quite easily. Due to this, I am going to do a post soon about my daily makeup routine and how I manage to cover up my condition on a daily basis.. So hold onto your hats because it will be here soon!